RED

i have struggled massively with this text, wanting it to become a film, for now i thought i’d share my writing instead of continuing to sit on top of it like i have done for six months. there will still be a film and it will come soon, i hope, i am happier with my idea . . . i wrote it on my phone and intend for it to be read on phones for now but have made it into more coherent paragraphs for this post.  i don’t really have anything else to say

 

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my first dog was called RED.    he was RED  for a short time and then he turned BLONDe. i named RED. my new dog is called BUDDY and he is RED   or more probable ORANGE.  i did not name Buddy my MUM named BUDDY.  BUDDY likes to sit at the table when we eat dinner. my MUM says BUDDY likes to sit at the table when we eat dinner because he thinks he is a human. i think BUDDY likes to sit at the table when we eat dinner because he wants the FOOD from the table.   BUDDY can have my food from the table because I do NOT want my food today. instead i will cut it up and push it around the plate for fifteen minutes so everyone thinks i have eaten it

my MUM and DAD want me to eat the food. they tell me to KISS the food. they tell me to lick the food, they tell me the food is not poison. they tell me to put the food in my mouth, they tell me to chew the food, they tell me to swallow the food. they tell me please eat the food

i do not like continental breakfasts i do not like buffet food i do not like cocktail sausages i do not like sliced meat i do not like white sauce i do not like sandwiches i do not like rice puddings i do not like kiwi fruit i do not like cheese i do not like being shouted at. please do not shout at me, continental breakfasts do not shout ! my MUM shouts, my DAD shouts, my brother shouts my sister SHOUTS i do not shout i am quiet. you are so quiet! i kno i am quiet thanks for telling me that i am quiet, thanks for telling me to come out of my shell! they all tell me to come out of my shell, everyone tells me to speak up i don’t have to speak up i don’t want to speak up and i do not want to eat their continental breakfasts 

sometimes my MuM leaves the kitchen to work when we eat dinner. i cannot look at my MUM when we eat dinner. i do not eat when WE eat dinner. i hide the food when we eat dinner i hide the food that she has cooked for me, i throw the food in the bin when we eat dinner i hide the food in the part of the bowl she cannot see. i hide the food under other food, she thinks i have eaten the food when we eat dinner

i was scared of cottage pie. i LIVED in FEAR of cottage pie. i would hope cottage pie would not be for dinner. if dinner was cottage pie i would not eat dinner. if DINNER was cottage pie i would stare at cottage pie. i do not like cottage pie. if my MUM had made cottage pie for dinner and i did not eat it she would SHOUT and maybe CRY. i don’t like when she shouts (all the letters that are in CRY are in CARYS.) carys, you like mince you like mash you like carrots so you must like cottage pie ! i do not like cottage pie. i do not know why i don’t like cottage pie. 

my DAD was in hospital when he was 8. i had RED when i was 8. i ate happy meals when i was 8. i only ate happy meals when i was 8. i thought i was happy when i was 8? i was in hospital when i was 12. i was not happy when i was in hospital. my DAD was very small until he was 18. my DAD grew very tall when he was 18. you will grow very tall when you are 18, i will grow very tall when i am 18. but i am 19? i am 19 and i am small. you are small. you are too small, you should not be this small. i am big. I have never been bigger I take up more space than ever 

my MUM did not know that i was going to be a girl so my bedroom was YELLOW i have YELLOW hair i have blonde hair i eat YELLOW food i eat beige food i eat ketchup i eat RED food i do not eat food I am a fussy eater I do not eat cheese i do not eat YELLOW food my dad had blonde hair, my dad did not eat cheese until he was 28 i will not eat cheese until i am 28 i accidentally ordered a burger with cheese on it and had a panic attack 

(i can’t believe i just spent £6.57 to have a panic attack in kfc)

 

red film

 

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